Memorandum:
The following notice goes out to all Black Rock Real Estate
Agents:
RE: TRASHY REAL ESTATE DOES NOT SELL!
Based on the latest market data it has become
obvious that properties containing even the slightest bit of trash are not
selling.
In a market where owners are maintaining properties with meticulous detail
we simply cannot compete with our cigarette butt and boa feather filled
lots. Therefore the following will be required of all licensed agents in
the Black Rock office:
I. Preparation
a. Agents will minimize
the amount they will bring to the playa. Items with loose ends or that
may molt in any way will not be allowed.
b. Clean up tools will
include gloves, magnets, keen eyes, a small shovel, patience, and 4
extra trash bags. Any agent that fails to produce these items will have
their license revoked.
II. Playa Policies
a. During regular office
hours all agents are responsible for maintaining a professional office
space. This means keeping our lot as clean, if not cleaner than
possible. Market research shows that customers are less likely to
complete a sale in office spaces that have clutter. Any spare time
should be spent keeping our space presentable.
b. During showings and
meetings, all agents should keep a suitable container (trash bag or
otherwise) for policing trash at our properties. This includes the
roadways and approaches to all the properties.
III. Office Closure
a. All agents must attend
the mandatory on-site meeting on Sunday. At this time all agents will
participate in a close order inspection of our area before the office is
closed down for the winter holiday. Any agents who fail to show
will answer to das trash fuher.
Thank you for your support in this important matter.
All yours,
Tom McKevitt
BRRC Trash Furer
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